If fruit begins to taste like cardboard, is it still good for you?
Does it matter whether or not it’s from California?
Meth rabbits hopped up on sausages May 23, 2007
Alright so I have the job of being an office troll this summer down in the depths of the university where I don’t see the sunlight for days. This is why I have been so obviously silent on the blogfront. The simple root of the problem is that I work isolated in a little office with no coworkers and rarely any neighbours. The most excitement down here is when the door to the dean’s office opens and loud men in business suits walk out talking boisterously on their cell phones. The only human contact I have on a daily basis is with the woman who serves my coffee in the morning and the soci secretary who is here for half days. If I’m lucky, in the afternoon the girl whose office is next to me comes in and slams her door a couple of times, talks on her cell phone, and leaves in an hour. She has never said a word to me but I’m lonely enough to strike up a conversation about the weather (the weather, which constantly fascinates me as a topic for small talk because it’s always available but constantly annoying). By the end of the day, I feel as though I have lost the ability to communicate or even act in a social way, bleck, so how could I inflict that on blog readers? Well, I will anyway.
I’ve set the computer radio station to CBC Radio 3 and refuse to take more paid time to search for a station that is completely hip hop free – I swear that is the only problem with Canadian independent music, thank you Rascalz. And go figure, when I finally break down and get a membership so I can make my own playlist full of the Weakerthans and Malajube, they only play songs that would make anyone’s left eye twitch.
A huge part of my job is to find information. Basically, I’m like a highly modified search engine that comes with bonus printing, stapling, and label making skills. I’ve been gleaning UK and Swedish websites for all information about their disability policies but I’ve noticed that when you’re surfing the internet with an academic purpose, even the most mundane things will obliterate your concentration. In my free time, I’ve gotten to the point where I can limit myself to watching a few elite youtube videos and skim over all the prolefeed. But here at work, well I’ll watch anything. I watched a video that was a guy standing with a black background doing sign language that explained an employment policy. No sound, just sign language, obviously good for someone who can understand it but I think I was just having a google burnout moment. If I had coworkers, my job would make me feel like someone inJPOD.
Anyways, I was thinking that I’m pretty good at what I do and with all the content on the internet, there must be people who get paid real money to do what I’m doing… You know, it’s probably the main job of librarians now that everything has become digitized, what do you think?
What else? I don’t want to digress into my weekly tai chi lessons at the community centre that are open to anyone and, aside from my boyfriend, most of the class is compiled of retirement aged individuals in blindingly white, new workout runners. Why you even need shoes when you’re going that slow is a question I ponder all class, it helps to clear my mind and make room for westernized zen. It’s quite enjoyable.
I’ve been house sitting for the last three weeks. Getting up in the morning and coming home after work only to tend to the bowel movements of a senior citizen dog who seriously, honestly weezes. He also only eats his kibble if it has milk on it, like a bowl of cereal.
I can do a simplified version of this… very simplified:
